Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Not A Slave To My Fears....

Recently, it seems that I’m hearing countless stories about friends and family whose lives are falling apart. Painful, heartbreaking stories. Some are casual acquaintances and others are ones I dearly love. It is a season of life when stories of adulthood leave you wondering if things have always been like this but childhood innocence shielded you, or if Satan himself has started a new revolution. Countless times I’m left not only heartbroken but feeling guilty. Why guilty? Because inside my home things are good. Really good actually. If I’m honest with myself it’s a wonderful season of life. I’ve not done anything to deserve all this goodness. Simply put- its God’s grace. In weak moments I also become fearful. Fearful that life will not always be this simple or easy for the 4 of us. Many of the hardships I speak of are uncontrollable. Some are not, but many are. What if that is us one day? In these fear stricken moments- I’m reminded of Roman 8:15 “

15For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.[g] And by him we cry, "Abba,[h] Father." 16The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. 17Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

I do not want to be a slave to fear. I don’t want to miss His glory in my ordinary days. I won’t do it…

Therefore….

I will sing “C is for Cookie” with my 2 year old in my best cookie monster voice with passion & gusto….

Do a happy dance every single time Davis succeeds on the potty…

Not push my husband away when he is pestering me while making dinner…

Hold Noah a little bit longer even though I know I might be spoiling him….

When Davis wraps his arms around my neck and says “I love you Mommy… Merry Christmas” I won’t focus on the fact that it’s almost Valentines day and my son is still wishing people Merry Christmas! Instead I will focus on the sweet, sweet sentiment behind that voice….

Instead of focusing on my to do list perhaps I will think of all the awful things I don’t have to do.

When we notice things about how our new house is settling and small issues that come up instead of wondering "what next?"… I will thank God for the blessing of a roof over my head.

When I cringe at the baby weight I still have to lose I will try to remind myself of the miracle of life I’ve been able to partake in twice now. Some women would give anything for the scar and ….let’s call it “fluff”… I bear.

When Davis is taking forever to say his nighttime prayers, instead of being rushed I will thank God that He hears our prayers and rejoice in the childlike innocence so candidly displayed.

When I can’t find the right words to say to a friend, I will remember the power of a listening ear.

When I feel like there are so many things beyond my control, I will remind myself of the power of prayer & not discredit it.

And on those days when I fail to do the things mentioned above, I will thank God that his mercies are new every morning.

I will not let guilt or fear of the unknown paralyze me.

I. Will. Not. Let. Satan. Steal. My. Joy.

I would miss way too much of the good stuff!




6 comments:

Tommy said...

Very nice.

Ashleigh said...

I wish there was a "like" button

Kad and Peaches said...

Thanks for sharing those thoughts, Shannon. Love you!

Jessica said...

so well written Shannon...what a great reminder.

Lee said...

What a beautiful heartfelt sentiment, Shannon!

Shannon said...

Well Said!! Thank you for posting this.